Wonderful Wednesday Series
We NEED more positive in this world. It does not have to be elaborate, though that is always welcome, and can be a simple picture or a short few sentences of something, someone, anything, that you think is wonderful. If you feel inclined to do the same, be sure to leave a link to your Wonderful Wednesday in the comment section so others may enjoy it as well!
This month is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. At our first ultrasound appointment just a week after our first round of IVF the ultrasound reveled we were expecting twins, but just a few days later I started to having some bleeding. I went back in for another ultrasound & one of the babies did not have a heartbeat. The other baby was fine & we were told my body would sort it out. Fast forward 2 weeks to our 8 week ultrasound & everything with baby A was fine.
On August 1st, 2010 we headed in for our 12 week ultrasound, it was just before lunchtime so we planned to go out for a nice lunch afterwards to celebrate our 12 milestone & then to BRU to start our baby registry. Our plans & happiness were short lived though when the ultrasound showed our baby no longer had a heartbeat. We left in silence & in tears, we drove an hour home & Donna headed to work (her way of coping) she also made the difficult phone calls to all our parents. I spoke to no one.
I had to decide if I wanted to wait & let my body miscarry naturally, if I wanted to have a d&c, or if I wanted to induce the miscarriage with medication. I chose to let my body figure it out on its own. I thought that posed the least amount of risk on my already fertility challenged body & also would be the best way to process the grief.
I felt very very alone that afternoon. Many people knew of our fertility challenges & that we had proceeded with IVF, our friends & family & coworkers anxiously awaited the good news that we were finally pregnant & celebrated our victory after 2 years of trying to conceive. What did we say to everyone now?
The rest of this story is long & full of details no one really wants to read about on a 'Wonderful Wednesday' post. We made it through the longest, hardest month of our lives (at the time) & went on to conceive 3 of the most perfect miracles on earth.
What is Wonderful is what happened after we did tell all of our friends & family what had happened. Family members, friends, coworkers, clients, acquaintances all reached out & shared their stories of loss & their stories of going on & having healthy babies. They mourned with us & encouraged us to keep trying. It was these women who gave me the confidence that I would have a healthy baby next time.
At the time I did not know there was a Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month or even a Day of Remembrance. I think it is important though, important for women & their spouses to know they aren't alone, it's not their fault & that many of us share their grief.
This is for all the babies that have gone too soon from miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.
Our love & prayers are with you & your families.