Monday, March 10, 2014

Trying to find the words...

This is not something I thought I would be writing at this time in my life. Not something I'm prepared for at all, I'm not even sure I have the words?

Last Wednesday my dad passed out, lost consciousness, quit breathing & went into cardiac arrest. The EMS staff was able to get his heart going again & continued CPR until they got to the hospital where he was intubated again. 

The hospital didn't have space in their ICU so my dad was air lifted to another hospital. 

When Donna & I arrived at the hospital we were updated on his condition which was not good. He hadn't regained consciousness & he was having seizures. These were signs that he had a brain injury. The ventilator was breathing for him 100% & his heart was weak.

How did we get here?!? 

This has been the big question we have all had since my dad started his struggle with bronchitis & pneumonia back at Christmas. We've also been anxious for his PET scan results since his last CT scan (previous lung cancer check-up) had questionable results.

Tuesday, the day before he collapsed, my dad did finally get in for his PET scan.

Friday the critical care doctor that was caring for my dad received the PET scan report/results. The spots that had showed up on the CT scan were cancer & at this point it had metastasized. The cancer was in both lungs & was aggressive. 

The doctor told us when my dad first arrived at the hospital that he had a brain injury & that they didn't think there was enough brain activity to sustain life. We weren't ready to just give up on him at that point & needed more proof, some tests or scans or something more concrete than just the doctor's words.

With no improvement & nothing showing up on the scans along with the PET scan results, we decided as a family that it was time to let him be at peace. 

Saturday with Donna & myself, my bonus mom, 2 sisters, 3 brother in laws & 3 aunts present, the ventilator was turned off & we said goodbye to my dad.

This is by far the hardest thing I've ever been through!


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. There aren't words to help you feel better. Know I am praying for your family. I can't imagine going through this.

  2. I read your blog all the time yet have never commented. But today I felt like I needed to reach out to you and tell you how sorry I am for you and your whole family. The experience of losing a parent Is horrible and I hope you remember all the good memories of him and be thankful for the time your family (esp the boys) got to spend with him. He will always be alive in your memory.
    With Love, Beth Anne, Brandon and Ronny (my two boys)

  3. Spring - Having lost my own dad 5 years ago yesterday, I can say that I understand how utterly hard and confusing this time is for you. Take comfort that he isn't suffering and try to remember the wonderful memories both you and your boys have with him. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ~Melissa

  4. I am so sorry to hear of your tremendous loss.

    May his memory be a blessing.

  5. I am so very sorry Spring. My heart breaks for you and your family because I know all too well how impossibly sad it is to bury a dad. In the pictures you've shared since I started following your blog, your dad has always looked like such a happy person and loving grandpa to your boys. Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time.

  6. I'm so sorry to read this. My heart breaks for you and the rest of your family. I've never lost a parent but I can only imagine how much pain you are in. You and your family will be in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time.

  7. So very sorry for your loss. May peace and comfort come your way during this difficult time.

  8. Spring, I'm so so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.



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